The Blissful ART of Being Single—Loving Yourself
by Therese Miu on 11/02/10 at 10:00 am
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byRobertS.Donovan
You are the only person you get to be with your whole life. No, not with your spouse, not even with your pet, not even with your children, not with your parents, not with your business colleagues, or co-workers and yes not even your friends.
No JUST YOU! Or at least for the most part 
If you are wallowing at the thought of this then you should. It’s TRUE!
So my question is:
Do you accept yourself wholly and totally? Or are YOU your own biggest critic?
My talented & remarkable friend Sandy Flores Winston said, “I think one of our greatest challenges, as humans, as people, is to truly LOVE ourselves. Once we learn to do this, we are truly boundless and can make wonderful things happen. Imagine, accepting and then truly embodying our full creative and beautiful potential!”
Since Valentines is upon us…I have a quick short story to share.
First off… A PERSONAL STORY
I’ll take you back about early teens to late teens……My story was pretty much similar to your story of your teenage years, it was full of turmoil, insecurities, doubts, and endless drama. Luckily, one thing that I hardly paid mind to were boys… And here’s WHY:
I was enjoying the journey of growing up and slowly being comfortable with my own skin.
Simplicity has always been key for me. And to put it frankly, I didn’t really understand my emotions and radical teenage crazy burst much less understand boys at that age.
Romantic relationship was pretty much out of the question. And looking back it wasn’t that I felt “too good” or had a certain ‘criteria.’
On one or more occasion friends would ask, “But don’t you ever feel lonely?” The truth was I never did. I knew that I had so much to learn about my own personal journey in this life. And understanding & loving me in complete totality-from heart, body, and soul- was IMPORTANT to me.
I realized at an early age that I have to learn to appreciate and love myself and not rely on external sources for love and approval.
So here goes my BIG Valentine Story with you today.
ARE YOU READY???
When I met Jeff, my love for 9 years now, he handed me his journal filled with ideas, philosophies, quotes, stories etc… He said to me, “this is who I am, you either like it or you don’t, let me know what you think.” I had a chance to take it home for 2 days. After reviewing it and analyzing it and re-reading it.
That was it for me. My crush deepened. I fell in love. I knew he was different.
From the moment we met to our time together now has always been very inspirational and uplifting. We empower each other with our ideas. And we continually enhance each other. Our growth together as a couple has been amazing.
I share this story with you because as Valentine’s Day gets closer and closer because you might be wondering when the time for you to find the “one.” Or you might be in a relationship and there is NO passion. Or maybe you are in a relationship & your HAPPY. And maybe you are yearning to get married and have kids already. I don’t know your story.
All I can say is continually WORK ON YOURSELF. Don’t depend on people or external circumstances to be happy.
Happiness is a CHOICE.
When I say “work on yourself” I mean be engage in your own LIFE. Get to know yourself.
The #1 most IMPORTANT relationship you can have is the relationship you have within yourself. Often times we leave our hearts into other people’s hands expecting him/her to take care of us.
When in the end, you had it backwards. Do not look to others for love and acceptance. No one is responsible to fill up your ‘love tank’ but YOU.
Take Care of YOU first. Know thyself. And you will eventually attract that person you are meant to be with.
Answer these questions and BE TRUE to YOURSELF!
- Who are you?
- What gives you the sense of accomplishment?
- What are your personal strengths?
- What areas need development?
- What do people criticize you most often?
- What can you improve?
- What makes life worthwhile for you?
- What is the quality of your LIFE?
Decide
- What do you want your life to be about?
- What’s going to be your destiny?
- What meaning and purpose do you want your life to be?
- What is your passion?
Lastly, “You are shaped and fashioned by what you love”
- What do you love?
You have to find the peace, joy, and love within you. If you recognize it within yourself then you will be able to share it with everyone around you.
It is important to know and understand that such journey is a process. When you forget that and seek neurotic ways to fill it with external pleasure: excessive fast-food, drinking alcohol, dating too much, shopping, TV, computer games, etc…You seek an empty void that is actually already filled. You are already that which you seek. Sometimes all you need to do is remain YOU, be silent, move into that potentiality and accept/love yourself fully & authentically.
I have been following someone with great content in his blog Albert @ urbanmonk.net he had a post Love for oneself and he mentioned something that strike a chord in my head and went straight to my heart and I loved it he shares,
You have got to be HAPPY & Fulfilled from the inside out.
Here’s ONE thing you can DO is take inventory of your most valuable asset: Y O U
- Strength
- Talent
- Hobbies
- Interest
- Passion
- Childhood- What topics/activities did u engage in? Who were your closest friends?
- Adolescent- What topics/activities did u engage in? Who were your closest friends?
- Adult- What topics/activities did u engage in? Who were your closest friends?
- Career paths you’ve taken
Use this Inventory as a fuel to see if there’s a pattern of your likes, dislikes, creativity, and happiness that you feel towards yourself totally and completely.
Remember YOU ARE YOUR MOST VALUABLE ASSET!
If you are somehow clear of who you are….then the rest will unfold effortlessly and yes often times MIRACULOUSLY!
Focus on your own growth and self development
Tina Su in her magnificent blog Think Simple Now shared how she would schedule “date with herself.”
Do something that fulfills your soul
- Go out for walks in nature (I do this frequently for 1 hour)
- Recharge, Rejuvenate, & Renew yourself
- Don’t neglect your Hobbies & Interest
- Meditation
- Surround yourself with things that Inspires You
- Go to Sports, Concerts, Club or a Play
“Live big. Live exuberant. Live like there’s no tomorrow. You are Divine, you are wonderful, and you are marvelous. You are miraculous. Remember that, no matter who you are, where you’re from or what you’ve been through and don’t let anyone or anything rob you of your Divine right to living a happy, joyful, harmonious life”
What self-nourishing activity do you like to do?
What do you love about yourself?
What can you do to improve relationship within yourself or with people around you?
R E M E M B E R
Be truthful, be compassionate, be patient, and be forgiving
All Love & Blessings to You My Family,
