Do You Like to Gossip? (pt 1)”Conversation is an exercise of the mind; gossip is merely an exercise of the tongue”
by Therese Miu on 16/10/09 at 6:39 am
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Who doesn’t love a GREAT conversation?? Conversation is an integral part of our psychological environment. Some Conversations are useful and needed in our every day daily life.
Some Conversation makes us smile. Some conversation makes us laugh.
Some conversation helps us; nourish our heart, enhance our mind, and brings joy to our life. However some conversation are dark, “it discourages our hearts and lifts us down. It’s like walking through a poisonous, radioactive cloud. It chokes us.”
John C. Maxwell said it best he said, “In life, the skills you use and the people you choose will make or break you”.
I would like to discuss association with you today in regards to conversations and the power of words. There are many directions I can take this, but for now I will pertain mostly around the subject of gossip. I’m sure you guys have had similar occasion of talking about other people in a negative way. I remember this vividly in Middle school I would participate in people’s conversation and sometimes not always in great intention towards people.
”So Live that you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip”
I learned shortly after my years in middle school that it’s just not right to carry this type of habits into your life. I have always mentioned to close friends of mine, you never truly know what a person is going through inside.
I mean seriously NEVER!
Sometimes you probably only know about 10-15% of what a person is thinking and feeling. That’s a small percentage but it’s true. I learned this in social work. I truly enjoyed social work because it was the type of career where it wasn’t really about you. It was about connecting with people in different level. Also one has to be very cautious as to what discussions and conversations to engage in. Needless to say it was an environment where my positive energy was allowed to roam freely.
So there is no way you can go to work and think to yourself, “What’s in it for me today?” NEVER. It was about “How can I help others today?”
It’s always about the other person.
Heart to Heart
Compassion
& Real Genuine Connection
What I truly discovered in an early age is that carrying the attitude of compassion and acceptance for other people is vitally important in your social skills environment. It is important to respond with positive comments, show concern for people’s life, and truly listen with an open heart. However, what I found out sooner or later that when it comes to being compassionate about other people’s feelings it’s not any different than carrying this type of behavior with those closest to you in your daily life.
That person may be your bestfriend in the world and she needs you right now. It can be someone close to you as your spouse.
We need to be more mindful of our attitude towards people.
It is so important to remember that a lot of times we have no idea what’s going on in another person’s life. Plato said, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
Here is a great test to find out if you are a gossiper? First of all, be honest with yourself with your answers. You may not like it but at least you’ll find out the truth.
I found this question in the book Magic of thinking big by David J. Schwartz. Here they are:
1.) Do I Spread rumors about other people?
2.) Do I always have good things to say about others?
3.) Do I like to hear reports of a scandal?
4.) Do I judge others only on the basis of facts?
5.) Do I encourage others to bring their rumors to me?
6.) Do I precede my conversations with don’t tell anybody?
7.) Do I keep confidential information confidential?
8.) Do I feel guilty about what I say concerning other people?
Talk about people YES! However Stay on the Positive Side.
David Schwartz shares:
“Be environment conscious. Just as body diet makes the body, mind diet makes the mind. Make your environment work for you, not against you. Get plenty of psychological sunshine. Circulate in new groups. Throw thought-poison out of your environment. Avoid Gossip. Go first class in everything you do. You can’t afford to go any other way.”
So we have to watch our words around people. WORDS are very POWERFUL.
Here’s a powerful quote to guide you in your every day daily life and the conversations you carry everyday…
“Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people”
One funny magazine once illustrated, “Gossip about people and their shadow appears.” SO TRUE!!!!!!
You can speak about other people however stay always on the positive side.
This is going to be 2 part series. Please read Part II here.
Thank You!
Looking forward to hearing from you! And don’t forget to share this post if you like it by tweeting it to your Twitter followers or sharing it on facebook!
With sincere heartfelt respect & gratitude,
Therese Miu
Be less of a judge and you will be surprised that when you become a witness and you don’t judge yourself, you stop judging others too. And that makes you more human, more compassionate, more understanding. Osho
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