Do You Like to Gossip?(pt 2)”Conversation is an exercise of the mind; gossip is merely an exercise of the tongue”
by Therese Miu on 30/11/09 at 7:52 am
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(If you missed Part 1 Go here First)
Do you want to know the first step to becoming a MATURE human Being?
The first step is personal responsibility for your emotional environment.
Remember we are EMOTIONAL PEOPLE!!!! This is inherently our Human Nature. Embrace it! Accept it!
Know that in every given situation you are bringing your beliefs, thoughts, and emotions into your social environment.
I totally agree with an old maxim that “treat others the way you want to be treated.”
TREAT your environment the way you want it reflected back to you.
So if you don’t want anyone speaking ill about you, then take personal responsibility with this thinking and DONT START anything.
Watch out how some Negative Emotions perpetuate itself in your verbal communications with others and most of all in the POWER OF WORDS that you use in every conversation.
You don’t think anything LESS for yourself right? Then do JUST that FOR PEOPLE.
Osho reminds us, “Life is a MIRROR it reflects your face. Be friendly, and all of the life will reflect friendliness.”
It’s not important how groomed the other person is next to you or whether she has a better occupation than you. Or she has a better relationship than you. First of all, erase the thought of comparing yourself to other people within.
Lisa Marie Nelson in her book “Getting There” she says, it’s easy to forget basic human connection. Our world is filled with comparisons, with judgments: “I’m better than you are,” “We don’t have as much as they do” etc. Judgments are hurtful. Everyone’s gain is someone’s loss. Even if we come out on top, someone has to lose.
There’s no point in comparing.
Everyone is growing and still evolving. You are still growing and evolving. I am still growing and evolving. It is almost useless talking about people’s shortcomings as if it’s going to boost our ego in some way.
There’s room here for everyone.
Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe says, “Treat people as though they were what they ought to be and you will help them become what they are capable of becoming.”
The best thing you can be is be A TRUE friend. Here are some steps to guide you in your most valuable relationships
• Value Your Relationships
• Encourage
• Love
• Appreciate
• Accept
My good friend and colleague Eiji Morishita says “Give them a healthy dose of P.E.A.R.s No, not the fruit. Praise, encouragement, appreciation, and recognition. We all love it and crave it deep down inside.”
The physical appearance is so deceiving—it’s almost a trap. One can say his doing excellent, yet he/she does not really have a quality relationship with their spouse. Or you can work with someone who seems fine and you can relate with them, yet they have so many issues about his/her self-esteem.
This is the reality.
Here’s a great advice I have likened from John C. Maxwell in his book “Winning with People” when it comes to talking about other people Go over this in your head before speaking:
T- Is it True?
H – Is it Helpful?
I – Is it Inspiring?
N – Is it Necessary?
K –Is it Kind?
Think before speaking
The best thing you can do for people is love them. I say capture his/her essence and accept them for who he/she is becoming. I have always believed people have the potential to change. I believe in investing in true great solid relationships that takes you to new heights of understanding. I feel that as long as I treat people with respect, kindness, and love this will ripple effect into my life.
Theologian professor Hans Kung says, “Understanding someone properly involves learning from him, and learning from someone properly involves changing oneself.”
I take this quote seriously because I really do feel like everyone we encounter in our life whether it has been a positive or negative experience is a Teacher. The relationship with others if we treat it with respect, genuine love, and acceptance is worth more than gold.
So my advice for you today is invest in your relationships—not once a year, or once every few months.
EVERYDAY
“We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another.”
The relationships you have are the most precious things you have going for you. Make sure your relationships with others deepen throughout the years.
And lastly:
Remember this sincerely and read this blog post again:
As John C. Maxwell Points out in Winning with People.
1.) Stay on Kindness street as long as possible
2.) Turn right on Forgiveness street
3.) Avoid get even alley because it is a dead end
4.) Climb to the top of the hill, for there you will see the high road.
5.) Take it and stay on it; and if you lose your way ask God for help.
MANAGE YOUR ENVIRONMENT
GO FIRST CLASS IN EVERYTHING YOU DO. STAY AWAY FROM BAD GOSSIP.
If you judge people you have no time to love them-Mother Teresa
Why is gossip appealing to many people?
What are you going to DO EVERYDAY to deepen and nurture your relationships with those people close to you in your life?
What kind of conversations do you engage in everyday?
Do you resonate with this post?
Looking forward to hearing from you! And don’t forget to share this post if you like it by tweeting it to your Twitter followers or sharing it on facebook!
With sincere heartfelt respect & gratitude,
Therese Miu
“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive” Dalai Lama
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THANK YOU!
Thérèse Cator
