12 Tips to strengthen your friendship: Why Likeability Matters in Life & Business

by Therese Miu on 05/02/10 at 7:20 pm

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children2 300x199 12 Tips to strengthen your friendship: Why Likeability Matters in Life & Business

Everyone from researchers, sages, contemporary and ancient philosophers have agreed that that the KEY to happiness is strong ties to other people.

Relationships are the gems in your life

So LET’S START!

12 Tips to strengthen your friendships: Why Likeability Matters in Life & Business

1.) Be Genuine and Authentic. No one likes to be around fake people. Every conversation you carry has energy. It can either be use to lift people up or tear someone down. Sometimes it’s not what you say in front of their face that matters. The BIG QUESTION is: Do you represent people well when they’re not in front of your face. It’s what you say when they are not around that MATTERS. I work on this a lot. If you want to invest on solid good relationships that last a lifetime, be a MIRROR!

2.) Be more interested about the person “Don’t you find that to be true? Everyone wants his life to matter. Everyone wants to feel significant. Don’t you feel that way? Then you know it’s true for everybody, even those who don’t show it” Make People feel important FOCUS on them and not just on yourself.

3.) Be thoughtful Remember little things. If someone mentioned their daughter like the movie “New Moon” go out of your way and ask your friend “Hey how did your daughter like the movie?” From the smallest things to big things such as remembering a person’s birthday, anniversary, etc… Also be aware of someone’s likes and dislikes. It shows that you pay attention. I learned from author Gretchen Rubin best selling writer whose new book, The Happiness Project she shares Make the effort to say “This made me think of you.” “Congrats, I saw the piece about your book deal!” Be Observant. Don’t be lazy when it comes to friendships.

4.) Show Up to events (Birthdays, BBQ, baby shower, weddings, camping, etc.) Be well rounded in your relationships.

5.) Keep in Touch. In this day of technological advances we have no excuse not to keep in touch–call someone, email, facebook, or twitter. I am good-old fashioned and I call my friends/family or write a note/letters. Just for the heck of it. And no, I’m not looking to receive anything back. Have a separate calendar and remember when you last saw your friends or family. Always look to Building a deepening relationship every year. A research has been done that “people with 5 or more close friends (not including family members) are 50 percent more likely to describe themselves as “very happy” than those with fewer strong relationships.” If you tend to move a lot having a social media account/or 1 email will really be on your best intention I have heard that “You lose five people with every move.”

6.) Be a GREAT Listener. I am reminding myself this more than anything else. What I noticed about people is the lack of listening skills. We have 2 ears but only 1 mouth and should use them proportionately! Since you don’t see your friends/family everyday when you get together LISTEN to what they have been going through in their life. Take your time talking to people, connect with them, and be sensitive to their feelings, wants, and needs. Be Engaged! Stop using your latest gadgets I-phone, itouch, or crackberry etc…

7.) Ask Questions let them do the talking. I have likened this strategy by John C. Maxwell in Winning with People

“Listen,
ask questions,
listen again,
ask more questions,
listen some more,
then
respond”

8.) Be Helpful--This is what I do my best here on my blog, in person with my family or friends, with my team, or collaborating tribe members. Author Keith Ferrazi “calls it “universal currency” – ways to be generous and spread goodwill to anyone that we meet. Generosity is the first step to warming up to a relationship.”

9.) Be approachable Smiling is contagious and so is happiness. There is a psychological term called “emotional contagion” which basically means we catch emotions of others whether they are happy, sad, or angry. If you are approachable it creates a pleasant atmosphere.

10.) Work at creating and building value. My mentor Katie Freiling talks about this thoroughly in her video please watch it. Click Here It is the best video you will watch I promise! Remember that if you fill your head with mental noise that doesn’t serve you, or fast food media, or gossip YOU will repel people. You will swing to an extreme of negativity and start to lose friends and influence.

11.) See People as “10″ -I love this! I heard it from John C. Maxwell He calls it the Number 10 Principle. He says, “Try to love others and see them as 10s. If you have family, start with your spouse and your kids. And then broaden that circle from there. Believe the best in others, and you will bring out the best” beautiful!!!

I say 3P’s

a.) Be Passionate about learning and growing in your own relationships withYourself & people
b.) Be Purposeful in your Relationships
c.) Be Positive always

12.) Be the first to say I’m sorry even if it’s not your fault. I enjoy Dr Hew Len healing method of ho’oponopono “I’m Sorry Please Forgive Me, I Love You and I thank You” If you let an anger linger for a long time it’s like having a monkey on your back. It becomes annoying next thing you know you’re so consumed with anger years later and you don’t even remember what it was about. Be the first to forgive it gives you Peace of Mind, Zen-like feeling, and research shows it’s good for your heart. Know in every situation you MAKE YOUR OWN WEATHER. This is very important ****

Relationship is like traveling to unknown continents–you never know who you are going to meet in the journey. But if we listen with the INTENTION to Love, Accept, Admire, and Respect the person for who they are and who they are becoming. When you nourish and nurture the precious relationships in your life then it becomes a RICH & REWARDING EXPERIENCE. Remember you need close, long-term relationships, you need to be able to confide in people you can trust, you need to belong, you need to be able to give and receive support.

And Please REMEMBER Relationships are the gems in your life

Do you have any tips you can share with me that has worked for you in the past?

I am very INTERESTED in what you have to share. Leave a comment down below with your thoughts on friendship and don’t forget to tweet it if you liked it & Share it to your friends & family on Facebook.

Thank You so much for visiting today!

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